Yes, once again you get to hear me bitch. Again, this is an area where I feel unheard. I feel like I am dealing with more codependent people now who have the inability to let go. If I ever feel like I relate how I feel, it is more relationship focused, not really power focused. In this instance, I feel like people are trying to compete with power against me. To clarify, I said my inspiration was the leader of Chile, I didn't claim her as my foodstamp. That is why I think the codependent competition is coming on. I feel blamed right now for 'poor leadership' compared to Stalinism where I am the oppressor. First off, I don't care about anyone. No one has me and I probably don't have any one. There are a few friendships developing, but with that type of leadership comparison, its just very unreasonable to expect anything from me. The state I'm in is a state where I still feel like I have been taken advantage of. Therefore, I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. If you're suffering, then that is your own problem, because quite frankly, I don't care. There is nothing I can do for you and nothing that I would want to do for you. Thus, nobody will manipulate me into being a giver.
I felt tortured again on occasion dealing with people's incompentencies and stigmatas.
One thing I heard on the Today show today, was Matt Laurer discussing something about "nobody is entitled to punish you." I'm happy that I have his support on that. He did say something along those lines, but I don't remember everything because I was doing something else at the same time. There are a lot of people though that think they are God's gift to call the shots in your life and/or punish you.
I have some other issues that I'm dealing with that are frustrating as well.
To look on the bright side though, I picked up an extra shift at work today.
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