When Some Signs Can't Be Ignored......

Personally, I don't always trust or believe in Bollywood gossip and signs. Sometimes, some signs and messages seem to have a stronger pull than others and can't go unmissed. I'm not liking the signs I see. Are you really putting all of your cards on the table? If you want to give yourself the credit you cheated on me before I was even aware of your existence; it tells me you are wanting me to feel like a second best or picked over in a worst intentional way. You want to be another pointless womanizer who wants to pick me to degrade me as the main intent.. Not sure what eye to eye it is with gaga and cooper. I sang her "Telephone," song at karaoke the other night and,.. you really don't make sense if you throw yourself on me, than don't want to hear from me.... Yeah, this is why I always keep signs and gossip questioned.. Were you really trying to get my attention at an earlier time where I had missed you and the arbitrage and now you have some kind of revenge to make me feel humiliated? I am most frustrated with the avoidance with my main issue of your Stockholm and paranormal rather than the normal. It looks that you could possibly want to use whatever self-righteous "sobriety" you could have in judgmental eyes against me as if I have too much of a problem with alcohol. Thus, it is the so-called said reason you deserve to Stockholm and put me in bondage and feel you deserve me but would never be seen with me. I will not be in bondage for you or be treated to a lesser dignity and respect over that reason. Not over any reason at all. I will not be made to feel subjected or subservient to you or any other woman or queen you would put before me while keeping me. I think it is the sickest, meanest, violently dry rape and hate it is anymore to keep me harassed, ganged up on, and emotionally denied. What love was it ever for a man to treat me like I'm such a conditional and subjective dog? What love was it ever to keep me alone and with not much of any emotional connection? What point of self-righteousness when there is no love? Some men have never been done with wanting to stab me to death out of my respect and out of having any kind of normal relationship with no bondages. Their sense of authority and such gross authoritarianism has always meant the most. It is like I make the worst jealous military sergeant out of them and they will always want to compete against me in the worst way. I would guess some men can't handle their own Stockholm they are and the constant rape threat that comes with it, but did they always have to wage more war every time? Did they always have to make me feel battered to keep losing more and more over anything and everything? No man understands what it means to give in to me and I've yet to beat the cycle and choosing to be in bondage to someone is still entirely out of the question. While your sense of authority could matter the most; my pride matters the most. And this is my blood sample. I'm not sure how serious of a test you are but this test is very terrible and disagreeable. Right now this is light and simple, but I have had times where I have been driven to the point of Django in Django unchained and know I have Calvins out there from time to time where I am most sincerely and murderously disgusted with.

Another Frustrating Day

Yes, once again you get to hear me bitch. Again, this is an area where I feel unheard. I feel like I am dealing with more codependent people now who have the inability to let go. If I ever feel like I relate how I feel, it is more relationship focused, not really power focused. In this instance, I feel like people are trying to compete with power against me. To clarify, I said my inspiration was the leader of Chile, I didn't claim her as my foodstamp. That is why I think the codependent competition is coming on. I feel blamed right now for 'poor leadership' compared to Stalinism where I am the oppressor. First off, I don't care about anyone. No one has me and I probably don't have any one. There are a few friendships developing, but with that type of leadership comparison, its just very unreasonable to expect anything from me. The state I'm in is a state where I still feel like I have been taken advantage of. Therefore, I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. If you're suffering, then that is your own problem, because quite frankly, I don't care. There is nothing I can do for you and nothing that I would want to do for you. Thus, nobody will manipulate me into being a giver.
I felt tortured again on occasion dealing with people's incompentencies and stigmatas.
One thing I heard on the Today show today, was Matt Laurer discussing something about "nobody is entitled to punish you." I'm happy that I have his support on that. He did say something along those lines, but I don't remember everything because I was doing something else at the same time. There are a lot of people though that think they are God's gift to call the shots in your life and/or punish you.
I have some other issues that I'm dealing with that are frustrating as well.

To look on the bright side though, I picked up an extra shift at work today.